How to Calm Your Anxiety — Advice from an Enneagram 6
Anxiety affects many people. In fact, anxiety disorders are some of the most common mental health issues in the United States.
On a scale of 1 to 9, the Enneagram Type 6 is pegged as being the most anxious Enneagram number.
As an Enneagram 6, I am not exempt. I constantly consider worse-case scenarios and think through everything that could possibly go wrong. This negative state of being is not the healthiest, and I have suffered from it greatly. However, my anxiety has also challenged me to find ways to cope and reduce the stress levels in my life.
Although I am far from having everything figured out, I have discovered several mental health exercises that help calm me down and allow me to focus on the positive and beautiful things around me.
Speaking from my own experience, here are some stress-reducing tips and exercises you can try to calm your anxiety and find inner peace. Hopefully, regardless of your Enneagram Type, these tips will help you find a healthier you!
1. Examine your senses.
When you feel trapped inside your head, especially as an Enneagram 6, it can be a frightening place. I have come to learn that one of the easiest ways out of my own mind is to walk through my physical senses. Focus on what is directly around me. If you feel stuck, ask yourself:
- What do you see?
- What do you hear?
- What do you feel?
Focus on what your body is physically experiencing in the moment. Walk through your senses, one by one. Note detailed descriptions of what you experience whether mentally or out loud. You’ll discover that each sensation will bring your body closer to reality and further from your inner chaos.
2. Confide in a loved one.
The Enneagram 6 craves support from those closest to them, and it takes an intense and time-consuming process to make it inside their inner circle. This is why I can count the closest people to me on a single hand.
When you’re feeling anxious, find the people you trust. Those in your inner circle know you, inside and out, and they love you. They want to help you and see you happy, believe it or not. You can trust your closest loved ones with your swarming anxieties, and they can help you find the truth when you’re drowning.
Share your deepest worries. Let your friend press you for details. As you make a verbal list of worst-case scenarios, you might recognize how silly some of your worries may sound. A friend will comfort you and help you approach your anxieties from a new perspective.
3. Write on sticky-notes.
Writing lists can overwhelm some. For me, I enjoy seeing my thoughts on paper, and I would think other Enneagram 6s feel the same way. Writing out actionable lists helps me remove the anxious thoughts from my head and onto something tangible. Writing out my to-dos brings my soul freedom.
Instead of writing one long list, try writing each task on a separate sticky note. Doing this can help you focus on one worry at a time.
Whenever you finish a task, rip apart the sticky note. Crumple it. Throw it away. The physical act of “finishing” your task will bring a surprising sense of satisfaction and ease that wouldn’t come any other way.
4. Focus on what you can do.
Focusing on what you can do can do, right now, with your own might and means, can hone your anxiety. This doesn’t mean the anxiety will leave, necessarily, but it can help you manage it. Consider this exercise after writing your sticky notes.
Start by organizing your notes by your ability to accomplish it. Some to-dos might involve simple errands you can complete right now. Check!
Other tasks might include larger goals like “getting a job,” or require a time restriction you can’t control (like waiting for open hours to schedule an appointment). Break down the longer tasks into manageable bites, and rearrange the tasks you need to wait to accomplish.
Once you are able to see what you can and can’t do in this moment, you may find the strength to let go of those larger tasks — at least for the time being. By letting go of what you cannot currently accomplish, you will find greater peace and freedom.
5. Breathe.
When you are anxious, your body will physically react. This often reflects in shallow breathing. If your body cannot get the oxygen it needs, your heart will pound, and your body will rush with adrenaline for survival. Breathing incorrectly can lead to a viscous cycle, yet it is easy to realign your body and mind with simple breathing exercises.
Here is one of the easiest ways to get your breathing back on track:
- Breathe in through your nose for four seconds.
- Hold your breath for two seconds.
- Breathe out through your mouth for eight seconds.
- Repeat until you feel a regular heartbeat.
This breathing exercise is the easiest for me to remember, but the experts provide several breathing techniques you can try to reduce stress and anxiety. Try out the different ones, and see which one gives you the most relief!
6. Journal in the morning.
Whether you consider yourself a writer or not, journaling brings an army of mental health benefits by curbing anxiety and boosting your mood. Although the idea of journaling might have you cringing, I want you to consider it a mental health exercise that lets you brain-dump your worries away.
Here’s how to do it. Take out a blank lined journal, something around this size, and write whatever comes to mind for three entire pages. For me, this typically takes 30 minutes. The goal is to not interrupt your flow of thought and write about anything that comes to mind — literally. You can write about your to-do list for the day, how tired you are, or how much you hate journaling in the morning.
Eventually, you may find yourself writing about your worries. Handwriting helps our brains process information, and you may uncover a solution you didn’t notice before. Writing out your worries also lets you look at them later to see how you overcame the problem. What once seemed like a paralyzing problem can become a testament of overcoming.
I encourage doing this practice in the morning, as it sets your day with a blank slate, free of worries. When you journal in the morning, you don’t have to hold onto your anxieties throughout the day. However, you may not be a morning person. Perhaps practicing this before bed could help you let go of your worries and sleep better at night.
Try whatever works best for you! And if it doesn’t work the first time, keep with it. Give this a try for 30 days, even a week, and see if it improves your mood.
7. Take photos.
You don’t need to be a professional photographer to give this a try, and it comes with a zero start-up cost, as most everyone has access to a camera tucked inside their pocket.
Taking photos is similar to walking through your senses, because it forces you to focus on your immediate surroundings: the color, the light, the composition. Rather than drowning in your swirling thoughts, you will consider what’s around you to find an interesting shot. You will find yourself more present in your physical body than worrying within your internal world.
For me, I have discovered photography to be a mental-health hobby. I take photos for pleasure and mostly for self-care. I suppose this intentional, creative focus could work with other art forms, such as painting or drawing, as well. However, I find photography more relaxing, because I am less focused on making “perfect” art than I am on capturing interesting sights already around me.
8. Consider the best case scenario.
The Enneagram 6 is notorious for playing devil’s advocate and thinking through worst possible scenarios for every given situation, and it is exhausting. Although troubleshooting can be a gift in the workplace, it can lead to sleepless nights and deep-rooted insecurity if worst-case thinking plagues your everyday decisions.
If you are prone to think the glass is half-empty, challenge yourself to think positively. Instead of thinking about everything that could go wrong, make intentional effort to consider what could go right. It’s a mental exercise, and your brain needs balance to find health and wholeness.
For me, it feels unrealistic, unsafe, or like a personal compromise to consider positive outcomes. I erroneously believe that worse-case thinking guards my heart and prepares me for what could go wrong, when, in reality, the pessimism only weighs down my heart with deadly cynicism.
Yes, be prepared, but don’t disregard how things could go right. Your heart needs balance to set aside anxiety and to find inner peace.
9. Pack away your anxieties.
My husband has worked through this exercise with me multiple times while I was hyperventilating on the bed consumed with my endless to-dos and daily woes. I recommend doing this exercise with a partner, as it holds you accountable to keep your anxieties “in the closet.” It goes like this:
- Imagine your anxieties as physical items.
- Start with your biggest worries.
- Place those anxieties inside an imaginary box.
- Work though each anxiety from largest to smallest.
- Pack each worry inside appropriately sized boxes.
- Stack your imaginary boxes in a hidden place.
Sometimes I will grab at my heart to “pull” the anxieties from my chest. Then I will pack them away and place them somewhere unseen, like the closet. It amazes me how this childlike trick can slow my heartbeat and help me focus on the present. This stress-relieving exercise might sound silly, but give it a try. You might be surprised how much it helps.
10. Speak the truth.
Words are powerful — probably more powerful than we let ourselves believe. If you harbor dark thoughts or spout negativity all the time, you will only feed your festering anxiety. We can become slaves to our own negativity, yet we hold the keys to let ourselves free.
One of the best ways to combat the anxious lies weighing you down is to slay them with the truth. Speak the truth. Out loud. Words can bring life or destroy it. Refuse to speak hatred over yourself and others. Find the kernel of truth and water it with your honest words spoken with love.
When I let myself sink into dark thoughts of depression, my heart races with anxiety. I feel worthless. Only when I combat these lies with the truth, can I find any sense of hope and relief.
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How do you cope with anxiety? Are there mental-health exercises that have worked best for you? Let me know in the comments!
